Sunday musings

June 28, 2009

Rains and Sundays are a great combination. The heavenly fragrance of earth, drenched in the afternoon shower permeates my senses. Intoxicates me. The rain drops tap a steady rhythm on my window pane. The palm tree outside my window is swaying in a graceful dance. It is as if the entire creation is rejoicing the advent of the rain.

Despite the beautiful scene outside, I am dispirited. Love can make you feel both exuberantly happy and misty-eyed at the same time. Two months is a pretty long time. Marriage is a life-long act of commitment. To give yourself someone completely to someone requires a lot of trust. It is a bit hard to understand the hows and whys of love. But, I know for a fact that love is all consuming. In a way, I am preparing myself for my wedding. Life is going to be fun. This change is a dramatic one. Trading a carefree life willingly for a life that is going to be both interesting and challenging.

My first relationship, if you disregard the one-sided puppy love and teenage crushes, with my husband is a beautiful one. No relationship is perfect. I am not perfect either. My jealousies and insecurities are galore. I am trying consciously to be a good wife and a good daughter at the same time. Juggling roles is not easy. Now, I understand how people find themselves in a dilemma. You love your near and dear ones so much that you just cannot hurt them. It is hard. Some decisions are just inevitable. You just need to make them despite knowing that it will hurt your loved ones.

Life will not be a bed of roses. I just hope that I can clear the road of thorns so that the journey will not be hard for all those who are near to me.